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thepaladin

thepaladin

How to Survive a Horror Movie

How to Survive a Horror Movie: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills - Seth Grahame-Smith, Wes Craven

I saw this book reviewed...and felt strangely compelled to reserve it at the library. Just after picking it up and reading the opening chapter on how to tell if you actually are trapped in a horror movie....I discovered a box of very old books I hadn't realized I even owned??? Upon finding them I went searching out shelf space for the dusty old volumes (oddly as soon as I went into the dark bed room to shelve the books my cat screamed and leapt from one of the shadowy shelves right at me. She'd never done anything like that before...weird.)

 

Well anyway, as I settled down to read How To Survive a Horror Movie...an unpredicted thunder storm broke outside and we had a power failure. Well, doing the obvious thing I went into the dark attic to rummage through a still packed box to find a flashlight, (we just moved into this place...it was oddly torn up before the landlord did the repairs, he was strangely close mouthed about who lived here before, and what happened.) Anyway, having gotten the flashlight (I'll have to check out that odd noise, the rattling scrape that kept up over in the darkest corner of the attic while I was up there, but I don't have time now.) I returned to my dark chair, near the unusual little rock I found in the garden, the one that seems to have a human face on it. I keep it on my computer desk, right next to my chair.  At ant rate, with my flashlight I started to read again only to be distracted by a huge clap of thunder and an unusually bright flash of lightening. The flash showed a face outside the window, some guy in a hockey mask...

 

 

Well you get the idea, it wasn't shaping up to be a great night. Along with the Zombie Survival Guide this may be an essential volume for....well surviving, you know, staying alive...and not ending up dead....or undead, or whatever.

The book is fun, I got a lot of laughs and while it's not actually funny from cover to cover, it's enough so that I'll give it a 4.

Oh, the lights are back on.

You'll have to excuse me now, there's someone at the door and they're stuck out in the storm. The TV came back on with the power and I have to turn it down, so I can hear what the person at the door is saying. There was something on the TV about an escaped mental patient, a murderer from the hospital for the criminally insane and I can't leave whoever that is out there in the storm with a dangerous killer on the loose....